To all my male colleagues, peers, bosses and friends out there. If you have a girl child or are planning to have one, don't bother sending her to school. If you are, don't bother expecting her to get good grades. If she is, don't bother sending her to a college. If she is, don't bother expecting her to find a job. If she has, don't bother expecting her to be good at it. If she is, don't bother expecting her to keep it. Because in all likelihood, in the end it wouldn't matter that she stayed up till 4 in the morning to finish her term papers or that she got through college with a distinction or that she went through numerous rounds of interviews to land a job or that she worked continuously for ninety days at a stretch for a demanding client. In the end, she will have to spend every single day of her life proving to her male counterparts that she's just as worthy as them, forget better.
Yes, where's the fun in life if there were no challenges? It's the challenge of proving someone wrong that excites and titillates you in the beginning. Throw a brick at me and watch me smash it to a million pieces. Step on my foot and watch me strip you naked. Burn me down and watch me rise like a Phoenix. Its what drives you for a while. And then you run out of fuel. That little stretch till the next gas station is what makes you wonder if its all worth it. Before it makes you, it breaks you. And by the time you're done putting back all the pieces together, you have to ask yourself if you've lost a part of you in the process. If you're whole again. I'm afraid i haven't found the answer to that. When someone recently asked me to use adjectives to describe myself, i was speechless. Not because i couldn't think of any but i didn't want them to know the ones that were forming in my head. Or maybe I have found the answer.
When you're ten and the last one to be picked for a dance recital every single year, you realize that you're not meant to win beauty contests and should spend more time in the library. By the time you're eighteen, you thank you're lucky stars you weren't born beautiful because all the time spent in the library meant you now have a talent that you've earned and could be proud of. By the time you're in your mid twenties, your pride in your accomplishments makes the world look at you differently. You're now deemed attractive and you've finally arrived. By the time you're in you're thirties, you're fighting to prove that you didn't have it easy because you're attractive.
When your father tells you every year that your life will be much easier if you were married, you scoff at him and tell him that he's disillusioned because you're self sufficient and happy being single. Over the years, having lived and worked with men, you realize he was only giving you an honest like-it-or-not advice because he cannot change the world for you. He cannot justify or reason how someone's marital status or their appearance guarantees respect, but he hopes that having a ring on your finger will make people look at you differently. As endearing as it is, your father's hopelessness is now your burden to bear as well.
So, don't build up their hopes by encouraging them to top their classes. Don't share dreams of turning them into doctors, scientists, artists or researchers. Don't waste your funds on sending them to college. Because most of them will never make it to that next gas station. Most of them will look in that rear view mirror and see a person that they don't recognize anymore. Most of them will be brainwashed into believing that they're weaker because they lack a Y, not stronger because they have an extra X. So, why bother? Don't! Don't bother.
Yes, where's the fun in life if there were no challenges? It's the challenge of proving someone wrong that excites and titillates you in the beginning. Throw a brick at me and watch me smash it to a million pieces. Step on my foot and watch me strip you naked. Burn me down and watch me rise like a Phoenix. Its what drives you for a while. And then you run out of fuel. That little stretch till the next gas station is what makes you wonder if its all worth it. Before it makes you, it breaks you. And by the time you're done putting back all the pieces together, you have to ask yourself if you've lost a part of you in the process. If you're whole again. I'm afraid i haven't found the answer to that. When someone recently asked me to use adjectives to describe myself, i was speechless. Not because i couldn't think of any but i didn't want them to know the ones that were forming in my head. Or maybe I have found the answer.
When you're ten and the last one to be picked for a dance recital every single year, you realize that you're not meant to win beauty contests and should spend more time in the library. By the time you're eighteen, you thank you're lucky stars you weren't born beautiful because all the time spent in the library meant you now have a talent that you've earned and could be proud of. By the time you're in your mid twenties, your pride in your accomplishments makes the world look at you differently. You're now deemed attractive and you've finally arrived. By the time you're in you're thirties, you're fighting to prove that you didn't have it easy because you're attractive.
When your father tells you every year that your life will be much easier if you were married, you scoff at him and tell him that he's disillusioned because you're self sufficient and happy being single. Over the years, having lived and worked with men, you realize he was only giving you an honest like-it-or-not advice because he cannot change the world for you. He cannot justify or reason how someone's marital status or their appearance guarantees respect, but he hopes that having a ring on your finger will make people look at you differently. As endearing as it is, your father's hopelessness is now your burden to bear as well.
So, don't build up their hopes by encouraging them to top their classes. Don't share dreams of turning them into doctors, scientists, artists or researchers. Don't waste your funds on sending them to college. Because most of them will never make it to that next gas station. Most of them will look in that rear view mirror and see a person that they don't recognize anymore. Most of them will be brainwashed into believing that they're weaker because they lack a Y, not stronger because they have an extra X. So, why bother? Don't! Don't bother.
