Sweet child of mine

Every time i read about a rape, i feel these raging emotions that i cannot contain. They spill over and garnish me with pain, anger, disgust, helplessness, anxiety and fear.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-12-12/preschool-rape-case-belies-justice-for-india-women-born-to-lose.html

That is what i read today.

They say your skin makes me want to do bad things to you, so you better cover up.
They say your independent attitude makes me want to show you how powerless you truly are, so you better stay at home.
They say your laughter tells me you want me as much as i want you, so you better stay quiet.
They say your closeness to men tells me you're a slut, so you better watch who you talk to.
They say your drinking alcohol tells me you want me to rip your clothes off you, so you better drink tea.

And now you say you raped a 3 year old girl because the demon possessed you?

How am i to protect my child from you then? Should i have her walk around with a Bible and a cross around her neck chanting hail Mary's? Or should i call on an exorcist to castrate the demon out of you?

Dream on

I sit here trying to think what it was like 10 years ago.

I was 23, single (supposedly) and just out of college. I had to convince my dad i'd have a better chance at finding a job in Bangalore. So there i was, sharing a 10x10 room with my sister in a hostel full of young, lovely, lively girls who were full of dreams and reminded me of butterflies. They smelt sweet, looked sweet and talked sweet. Most of them were studying and some looking for jobs or working already. They always seemed ready to spread their wings and fly away.

How i would love to talk to them now. To see if they've found their freedom. To see if it is all they ever dreamt of. Do they still look as lovely? Or have their eyes lost the hope there once was? Do they still laugh out loud? Or do they need a glass of wine or two? Where did they fly off to? Do they still have their wings? Can they still fly?

I know what i dreamt of. I dreamt of scoring an entry to a medical college so my dad would finally stop being so miserable. I couldn't and he's still miserable.
I dreamt of working for big companies so my dad would stop being so miserable. I did and he's still miserable.
I dreamt of marrying my first boyfriend and living on a beach house with a cat and a dog and white picket fences. Boyfriend cheated. I cheated (if exchanging dirty messages is considered cheating). We both were miserable and so was my dad.

Education. Check. Job. Check. Man/Men. Check.

I suppose that's where it all ended for me. I don't know where to fly to next. This can't be it. There has to be more. I wan't more check boxes to check. I know you're thinking marriage and babies. And that certainly would make my dad less miserable. But, surely there are more check boxes for a single woman?

I need an adventure. I want a dream. I need a dream. It's getting dangerously boring.